Note: After reading the article, "The Best Sex  Possible," the following is must reading:   The Gospel that Jesus preached and that he commanded his disciples to preach to every creature in the world would bring peace, joy, happiness and harmony to ourselves, our families, our nation — the entire world — if people believed and did what Jesus said.     To learn the truth about the Gospel of peace that Jesus preached, click here:  The Truth about the Gospel

 

Sex, sex, and more sex! It seems that Americans cannot get enough sex. It's ironic! The sexual experiences of most Americans are not fully satisfying … thus, the search for more sex dominates our attention. The sexual satisfaction of the vast majority of Americans is a pittance in comparison with our potential for ecstasy, exhilaration, and deeply felt satisfaction.

For the best sex possible, you can forget about aphrodisiacs, psychics, astrology, horoscopes, and superficial books about sex, if you master one simple thing. No gimmicks here ... just the secret to the best sex possible.

If you look at the titles of information about sex in the various "Internet yellow pages" or if you search the Internet using the key word, "sex," here are some of the types of information you will find regarding sex: sex experts, sex questions and answers, sex-related articles, sex sounds, safe sex, sex talk, sex wanted, sexual identity, sex stories, sex spanking, sex voyeurism, sex enemas, sexual fetishes, sexual addiction, sexual assault, sexual gender, sex eroticism, sex movies, sex bondage, sex masturbation ... and there are more.

None of that is natural and normal sex. Sex that is not natural and normal is not deeply satisfying ... thus the search goes on for more and more sex. The best sex possible is natural and normal.

 

Sex!! Sex!! and more Sex!!	Sex!! Sex!! and more Sex!!
Sex!! Sex!! and more Sex!!	Sex!! Sex!! and more Sex!!

 

Underlying all the seeking and searching for more and better sex, deep inside, people are wanting to feel the feeling they would feel if they were free to love freely ... free to experience the experience they would experience if they were living in agreement with truth and nature.

Sexual dissatisfaction is the leading cause of marital conflict, infidelity, disastrous relationships and divorce ... dwarfing all other causes.

The other causes include jealousy, the green-eyed monster, and varied emotional problems. Although not nearly as prevalent as sexual dissatisfaction, these causes are perhaps equally destructive, resulting in such things as violence, anger, hatred,  quarreling, fighting, and in some cases, murder. 

 

The hidden cause of problems in loving relations and sexual problems is unwarranted, subconscious fear. The ultimate solution is knowing the truth that makes us free.

The bottom line is that the secret to the best sex possible is freedom from fear and consequently the freedom to love freely ... the freedom to do it with love.

In all simplicity, the secret to the best sex possible is to let go (let go of fear, anger, anxiety, doubt, and negative beliefs about sex) and let things be the way they are supposed to be ... that is, in agreement with truth ... the same thing as being in agreement with our true nature.

The secret to letting go of obscure fears and false beliefs is acknowledging them and understanding them—knowing the truth that makes us free.

When we are free from fear and free to love freely, we don't need superficial sex manuals that tell us what feels good, what to do, and how to do it. We will naturally be guided by our feelings to do what feels good to us, and what feels good to us will feel good to our mate—when we are free to love freely.

Sexual ecstasy and exhilaration is a two-way interaction. Sex is not something you get ecstatic about alone. The exchange of sexual feelings — coming from our true loving selves — leads to one of the most satisfying experiences life has to offer. And in regards to sex becoming boring, as suggested by some superficial books and articles, this deeply satisfying sexual experience does not become boring.

Freedom is just a vague concept when we are not free to be free ... when we are wearing our mask, pretending to be free and happy ... when we are not free to love and to express life freely.

 

Fear blocks us from a free expression of sex ... from a free expression of life. We conquer fear by acknowledging it and understanding it.

When with a loving partner who is receptive to giving and receiving, if you give the best you have, the best will be returned to you. At this level of giving and receiving, they become one and the same ... and there is nothing more satisfying. The best you have to give is your love emanating from your true loving self.

The type of freedom that will assure us of loving relationships and ecstatic, exhilarating sex is expressed in the lines of a poem by Richard Lovelace in the 1600s:

We cannot enjoy this type of freedom until we free ourselves from obscure, subconscious fears and false beliefs. At a certain level of conscious awareness we know what these are ... if only we would be still, pay attention, and listen to ourselves.

The best sex possible is with a mate you love and trust and with one who in turn loves and trusts you ... both you and your mate loving freely and surrendering to your sexual feelings. The best sex possible — which is the safest sex possible — is not possible in causal sex and one-night stands.

Promiscuous sex, perverted sex, casual sex, kinky sex, one-night stands — the games people play — (the sexual activities that are risky) do not produce deeply satisfying sex.

Perhaps you have heard the expression, "Variety is the spice of life." As far as sex is concerned, that is a myth, that is a lie ... that is a delusion. The spice of life is genuine love.

A variety of sexual partners only seems exciting to people who either are not free to love freely, or they are not with a partner who is free to love freely ... not free to give of themselves and to express their sexual feelings.

The best (and the safest) sex possible only occurs between partners who have come to know, love, and trust each other and are free to give of themselves and free to surrender to their sexual feelings. Once a couple reach this level of loving, giving, sharing, and surrendering to their sexual feelings they have no need or desire for multiple sex partners. Further, they form a type of bonding that is satisfying and that lasts a lifetime.

Insidious, obscure fear is so deceiving and elusive. It has a way of diverting us from the greatest joy, happiness, pleasure and contentment that life has to offer ... and into activities and behavior that can bring only suffering, loneliness, unhappiness, and despair.

The underlying cause of kinky sex, perverted sex — any sex that is not natural and normal — is obscure, insidious fears and deeply held false beliefs. The satisfaction that is derived from sex that is not natural and normal is akin to the satisfaction derived from an addiction ... which a lot of that unnatural stuff becomes. With an addiction, you can never get enough of anything that is not really satisfying to really be satisfied ... thus the search goes on ... promiscuity becomes rampant.

And once a sexual addiction is well entrenched, then a person has two difficulties to over come if he or she is to be genuinely happy, satisfied, and contented ... that is the addiction and the fearful, false beliefs that led to the addiction. A first helpful step to overcoming an addiction is to understand the underlying cause ... understanding the underlying fear, repressed anger, and deeply held false beliefs.

Overcoming addictions is beyond the scope of this article; however, two additional steps to help overcome an addiction are: (1) simply stop engaging in the addictive behavior and (2) divert your time and attention to something else you enjoy doing, something that is positive, satisfying, and constructive ... in other words redirect your thoughts and energy to something that is in agreement with truth and nature.

The bottom line is that you will never enjoy the best sex possible — and you will never be genuinely satisfied, happy, and contented — until you rid yourself of obscure fear and deeply held false beliefs ... the underlying hidden cause of sexual dissatisfaction, including most cases of impotency and frigidity.

What this boils down to is that we will never really be genuinely satisfied ourselves and we will never really be a satisfying sexual partner until we learn to love freely and to give of ourselves. And we will never love freely until we free ourselves of insidious fears, deeply held false beliefs, and repressed anger.

In his book, HUSTON SMITH'S -- The Religions of Man, the author states, "Of all the philosophers of the West, Spinoza stands closest to Buddha on this question of the mind's potential. 'To understand something is to be delivered of it' — these words come close to summarizing Spinoza's entire ethic."

Very simply, understanding the cause of our problems delivers us from them. Very simply, we do not correct problems (mental suffering, the psychological problems in sex and relationships, crime, violence, rape, child abuse, spousal abuse, drug abuse, the break-up of families — in brief, all that is undesirable, deplorable, and destructive) by treating symptoms, but not correcting the cause of the problems. When we correct the cause, the symptoms vanish.

Many people with psychological problems think that they have no fear. Invariably, the fear that is the hidden cause of suffering, psychological problems, disastrous relationships, problems in sex — all that robs us of love, joy, happiness, and peace of mind — is subtle, insidious, obscure ... beyond conscious awareness. This fear can be manifested in many a varied ways. It can lead to psychosomatic illnesses, to frigidity, impotency, kinky sex, perverted sex, sexual addictions, neurosis ... all mental and emotional suffering, loneliness and all unhappiness.

You need not become a "lifer" (a person who gets therapy for 10 to 20 years) to become aware of fear and to understand it ... which is as simple as learning to be still, paying attention, and listening to ourselves. A key word is "understanding."

The ultimate solution to problems in sex and relationships  — to all mental and emotional suffering — is knowing the truth that sets us free … free from fear and free to love freely.

Discovering the truth that will set you free (the hidden secret of the ages) is one of the most important lessons you will ever learn. And, it is a lesson that you will not learn in any of the institutions of higher learning, and you will not learn it from the superficial self-help books that inspire and offer hope, but basically nothing changes.

The feeling of being inspired dissipates and you are back to square one. You will not discover the truth that will set you free in the Church. The truth that will set you free is in your heart, and that is where you can discover it, and you discover it by doing what David the Psalmist said to do about 3,000 years ago: "Be still and commune with your own heart."

Discovering truth results in a major transformation ... like, "being born again" ... free from the burdens of guilt, fear, anger, anxiety, and resentment ... free to love and be loved, free to be happy, satisfied, and contented ... free to enjoy the best sex possible.

Let us remember what Buddha said, "Be ye lamps unto yourselves. Seek salvation alone in truth. Those who shall not look for assistance to anyone beside themselves, it is they who shall reach the very topmost height."

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Copyright © 2000—2007 by Dwight Nichols